I'm Weighing In..
..to the cyclist debate.
I am aware that there may well be some avid cyclists reading,
but I'm weighing in regardless.
Cyclists have the right to ride on roads. They also have a responsibility to obey all relelvant traffic laws. Motorists also should obey said laws and respect the cyclists right to ride on the same roads that they drive one.
HOWEVER..
..until you leg shaving, ridiculous amount of lycra wearing, look at how fit I'm getting, couldn't afford to buy a sports car for my mid life crisis so I took up cycling instead, wannabe athlete motherfuckers have to pay $400 a year to register your pushbike, STAY THE FUCK TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND STOP ENDANGERING ALL OUR LIVES.
Thankyou. That is all.
I am aware that there may well be some avid cyclists reading,
but I'm weighing in regardless.
Cyclists have the right to ride on roads. They also have a responsibility to obey all relelvant traffic laws. Motorists also should obey said laws and respect the cyclists right to ride on the same roads that they drive one.
HOWEVER..
..until you leg shaving, ridiculous amount of lycra wearing, look at how fit I'm getting, couldn't afford to buy a sports car for my mid life crisis so I took up cycling instead, wannabe athlete motherfuckers have to pay $400 a year to register your pushbike, STAY THE FUCK TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND STOP ENDANGERING ALL OUR LIVES.
Thankyou. That is all.
posted by I Am Man I Am You. at 10:14 AM
11 Comments:
cough, cough, tight chest, is the world getting warmer or is it me, splat!
oh... so it's the CYCLISTS who are endangering lives!
But you've got a point with the rego thing... all that wear and tear the cyclists are putting on the road... they really should cough up!!!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
LaLa said...
Bah. There is a group of stupidly fit, revoltingly hairless cyclists that take over my favourite local coffee shop every weekend. Drives me mental. I do however, really enjoy rocking up with a filthy hangover and giving them the evils. Makes my Sunday.
(Sorry, had to re-post this as have forgotten important spellng rules such as, how to)
You make some good points here old friend....
One thing though, I am all for people riding bikes...is good for the environment and their health and all, but under no circumstances should any person, man or woman, wear head to toe lycra and not expect to get a faceful of laughter in their direction...especially the male ones that have the padded arse bit that pushes your junk way out in front so it looks like you are Matt Shirvington...
I don't mean to come late to the party but...
Robot Cars.
This should be self-evident after a bit of thought, but for the cerebrally apathetic amongst us, I'll explain.
After many years of not driving much (I was overseas), I have realised that at no other time is man's nature more trully revealed than when behind the wheel.
It seems to bring out the worst in everyone, as we can see from I Am Man I Am You's tirade here.
Aside from all the environmental negatives that come with combustion vehicles, there's the 'gazillions' of dollars spent on insurance every year, asa a direct result of vehicle related incidents.
So the answer to these, and many other problems of western society, is Robot Cars.
Think Minority Report - and it doesn't mean you can't own your own Robot Car, or that there can't be different models for different needs. Just think of the possibilities Jerry, no more parking hassles, no more designated drivers, no more unproductive time sitting in traffic, in fact - no more traffic! And to get back on topic, no more bicycle accidents either, as the Robot Cars won't drive with any prejudice against cyclists, they will just negotiate them like any other vehicle.
I could go one (and on) but I think I will reserve further comment for another time and place.
In conclusion, Robot Cars.
OJ - I KNEW you would comment, and in fact, it was you I was referring to when I wrote about causing offence (I even had a couple of 'On Yer Bike' refrains going around my head). I should have made it clear; there's people who ride bikes, and there's cyclists. It's cyclists I have a beef with, and now that I'm travelling up Mt. Coot-tha regularly I encounter them far too often.
LaLa-yes. Yes. The ones who 'cycle' to coffee shops are the ones I detest the most.
Skinflute - Over-exaggerated, lycra clad junk is a horrible sight that must be stamped out.
No One Thinng - your idea is sound, but who would regulate the robot cars?
IAMIAY,
I'm sorry you had to endure memories of that song... it's one of the few I don't stand by either artistically or in content (except for that opening riff, which still rocks). Angstily bangin' on about 'rights' isn't something I'm into any more!
But I'm glad you knew I'd bite on this topic...
As you correctly observe, I am someone who (now occasionally) rides a bike, as opposed to a 'cyclist' - but I will point out in favour of the lycra crew:
(i) They are highly visible
(ii) They move quickly and predictably
I have a greater issue with idiots dressed entirely in black, with no lights, meandering over the William Jolly bridge after dusk!
At any rate, I'm glad you'll be supporting the campaign for improved (non-pedestrian-shared) cycleways through Brisbane! :-P
And as for songs about vehicles - wait til you hear my new song about the toy tractor's friction traction action... quality! What? Whaddya mean parenthood has affected my songwriting???
ojxx
http://bikeportland.org/2006/07/14/local-radio-show-promotes-hatred-toward-cyclists/
Sounds like you're not the only one who hates 'em.
If people have viewed these comments, and not clicked the above link...
CLICK THE DAMN LINK, read the thread - then please come back and try and justify any anti-cyclist positions you hold, I'd really love to read what anyone has to say.
IAMIAY, I understand you're only taking exception to a minority of cyclists who you feel take up a bit more roadspace than suits you, and that amount of roadspace for you may be quite a reasonable amount, but frankly, as a cyclist (who rides a bike) the number of times I've been arbitrarily abused by idiot motorists (and bus drivers) whilst hugging the kerb and minding my own business, is sickening.
The whole culture of picking on cyclists is small-minded. The arguments presented so far in this thread have been
(i) "MY road!" (sorry, it isn't, and cyclists have a greater moral right to use it than motorists... including the moral right to travel slower than cars. Get over it and drive slowly for a minute - you'll have caught up with the rest of the traffic flow by the time you reach the next set of lights)
(ii) "MY café!"
(iii) "I don't like your fashion sense!"
In the face of people being run off the road and radio DJs inciting violence... pretty lame arguments, folks!
Hey, here's an idea - let's pick on urban SUV drivers instead. You get guaranteed moral high ground with that debate.
Bahum-Pharc - I'm not sure what's more perplexing. The fact that that DJ said those things out loud and on air, or the fact that you found yourself at bikeportland.org. Full marks for posting that link.
OJ - I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone on this blog who would take their dislike of cyclists to the extreme of that DJ, and I don't remember ever posting that I wanted cyclists to die. It's not the slowing down that causes problems, and frankly, as a motorist, the number of times I've arbitrarily abused cyclists is zero. If only they were all curb huggers like you! In regards to the viewpoints of "MY cafe" and "I don't like your fashion sense", well, that's why blogs exist; so people like me can post threads saying lycra is stupid and I would appreciate any who wears it in abundance fucking off from my general vicinity. In the words of Angelo Moore, "that's just how I feel man".
Thank you for lifting me out of my funk and putting a smile on my face... and apologies for the rant.
I think I just got a bit fired up reading that Portland thingy and it brought back unpleasant memories! And I started taking it all a bit personal, like.
Anyway, thanks for the perspective...
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