Don't Try To Understand It..

..just accept Shatner's unmitigated genius

Speaking Of Talentless Garbage....

A few years ago myself and a friend of mine I was living with at the time, would routinely wake up on Saturday mornings, stumble out of our rooms and settle in for a morning of sadomasochistic Video Hits viewing, verbally identifying and subsequently solving the problems of the music industry as we went. It was fun, in some sense of the word, and I miss being able to do it. So a couple of weeks ago I thought I might relive some good times, and tuned in to Channel 10 to see what the kids were calling 'music' these days. Granted I only have myself to blame, but I was sickened to my stomach to see that singer named 'Abigail' (who, from what I can gleam from her website, wants us to think she's a serious singer/songwriter) had released a techno version of Smells Like Teen Spirit*. My first reaction was to turn it off immediately, which I did, but the horror was so great that I had to turn it back on to find out who was responsible.

Now, there may be some naysaysers reading this who think that I am over reacting to this travesty, and if you are such a naysayer, then there's every chance that my forthcoming explanation will have no effect on you. Skip to the second half of this post if you are such a person.

It's not like reworking classic songs with a techno beat is anything new. We have been enduring this gross 'artform' (and I use the word loosely) for some time. Also, it's not as if the people who engage in making these abhorrent reworkings have only stuck to songs that were popular but had little meaning. I mean, they have really ruined some great and important songs in the past.

The reason the reworking of 'Teen Spirit' saddens, offends and sickens me so much, is because that song is not just a song for me. It represents me, and my generation, and clearly defines thoughts and feelings I had at the time of its release that I couldn't have hoped to articulate. That song (and that band) were a beacon at a time in my life when I needed it the most, and it brought all the likeminded people I knew together and gave us something to belong to. Something that said "this is us". If you think I'm being melodramatic, overly sentimental, or you just can't understand that, believe me when I say - fuck you.

SO, once the horror subsided to the piont where I could breathe again, my first thought was "how could the remaining members of Nirvana allow this to happen?" It was causing me great distress that they would sanction such a thing. Then I discovered that Courtney Love (pictured) has sold her controlling percentage of the publishing rights to Nirvana's back catalogue. Read this to get more of an idea of how horroble this lady is (I particularly like the part about "remaining tasteful").

I realised that I can't hold Abigail, nor the producers who created her version of 'Teen Spirit' responsible for destroying such a precious thing. I really can't even hold the people who like the techno version responsible for making it popular. The blame rests squarely on Courntey Love's shoulders, and it just goes to show that even though you married someone you were in love with, they can still be killing your spirit and everything you stood for, long after you're gone.



*I am aware of the irony involved in providing a link to the website of someone I don't want to promote, so don't bother pointing that out

Adrift in a Sea of Mediocrity

It genuinely dampens my spirits to see that shows such as The Wedge (read a breif synopsis) can make it onto prime time television. It boggles my mind as to how things like this get approved, funded and produced, and it boggles even further when people (and I use the term loosely) actually like it. I would hazard a guess these are the same 'people' who would find Little Britain offensive and not funny. The same people whom have said to me "Well if you think you could do better then why aren't you?" You know the type of people I'm talking about. I like to refer to them as 'arseholes'.

Stop lowering the bar for all of us, you fucking ruiners of everything that is good.

Who You Rollin' Wit?

There's a good chance that only those of us who have seen The Aristocrats will fully appreciate this. 'Full House' fans be warned, this video could scar you for a long time to come. Ps. if you don't do so already, when loading vids like this, hit play then pause and wait for it fully load before you hit play again.

08:21. What does the 0 stand for?

So. I'm up.

If that prick of a worm doesn't show up soon I'm going back to bed.

Wake Me When You Find Something Better

I dare anyone to show me a better definition of rock and roll

It's Parmigiana, Dickhead.

I hazard a guess a lot of people have seen the latest KFC commercial for their new product, the "Chicken Parmy Burger". Granted, I can't succinctly articulate why, but the fact that they call it a "parmy" burger, and not a parmigiana burger, really boils my fucking blood. Call me a snob if it makes you feel better, but if I don't maintain the rage, who will?

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You (when your train gets lost)

Never, has so much, been written, about so little, for so few.